An Interview with Author Aanchal Parker

Smashing love addiction and love avoidance: Powerful healing strategies for deep rooted intimacy issues

Author Name: Aanchal Parker

Latest Book: Smashing Love Addiction and Love Avoidance

Book Release date: 1st Nov ’19 (available for pre-order on Amazon)

Book formats: eBook and Paperback

1.What are you reading now?

Psychology and Spirituality are my current favourite genres. I have just finished reading John Bradshaw’s “Healing the shame that binds you” which is a mind -blowing self -help book on understanding the lethal effects of toxic shame on interpersonal relationships. I am halfway through reading Adi da Samraj’s discourse on spirituality titled “The Knee of Listening” which I think provides a useful framework towards understanding the dichotomy between perception and reality.

2. Please tell us about your work.
We often see people with a series of failed relationships behind them Also, they repeat the same patterns in all those relationships in terms of choice of mate, inter-partner dynamic and reasons for breakup. The demise of each relationship leaves fresh wounds on their already scarred heart. They are baffled and don’t know what to do about it. Many give up on love and resort to a solitary existence but still crave lasting connection deep down. I wrote this book “Smashing Love Addiction and Love Avoidance” primarily for this cadre of readers.

While on the face of it, it might seem that a  lady has poor taste and is always attracted to bad boys or a man only seems to attract narcissists because he is empathetic ,the reasons for this “attraction” or “choice of mate” are far too complex and are rooted in attachment theory and childhood emotional wounds stemming from abandonment and toxic shame .The first part of my books explains these concepts in an easy to understand manner for the lay reader.

Enmeshment occurs when a parent (oftentimes narcissistic and controlling) uses a child to get his/her own emotional needs met .Thus the child becomes the surrogate spouse, is made to take care of parents at a very young age and reels under toxic shame from parental abandonment which is the root cause of love avoidance. In the second part of the book I have delved deep into the causes of love avoidance including enmeshment, its disastrous effects on attempts at intimacy and suggested powerful, proven easy to apply healing techniques and tools for permanent recovery.

Co-dependency (or love addiction) occurs when a child’s sense of self worth is squashed by parental abandonment and neglect and he/she gives himself/herself up /bends backwards to accommodate others for connection and love even during adulthood. This forms the basis of love addiction. In the third part of the book I have outlined the causes of love addiction and suggested simple frameworks and modalities for healing.

3. What is your next work in progress?

I am currently in the process of writing a book on spiritual self -exploration. It is meant to serve as a guidebook to help us look inwards, accept what is and shed what serves us no purpose.

4. What inspires you to write?
 If I had to describe myself in two words, they would be analytically observant and creative. I like looking at everything around me from various angles and delving into the why’s of things and drawing conclusions. Also, I have a creative bend of mind and dabble with various forms of creativity like painting and crafts. Writing is a marriage between analysis and creativity for me. It helps me express the various angles from which I looked at things and drew inferences and allows me to decorate these expressions with ornaments of wordplay which I find invigoratingly satisfying.

5. Where can we learn more about your work?

The best way to learn more about my current book “Smashing Love Addiction and Love Avoidance” which is now available for pre-order on Amazon in both e-book and paperback formats is clicking the link below.

You can also check out my previous works on my amazon author page and follow me using the following social media handles.